Whenever a person loses, we hear from those around us comments like:
“You’re a winner to me!” “There’s always next year!” “You’re #1 in my heart!” Although these statements are made out of love and concern, they do not always ease the pain of disappointment. I sincerely appreciate the encouragement; it is hard for others to know what to say at such a time.
I am a very competitive person by nature- always have been, always will be. I come from a family of athletes and my dad is in politics, so I guess it is in my blood to be that way. I hate losing as much as the next person, but sometimes I have learned it is necessary, even beneficial.
When I began my journey to Miss Alabama, I knew I was fighting an uphill battle. First year girls are not normally viewed as real contenders, so I did keep my expectations in check. I proceeded into “Miss AL week” with confidence that it would be an incredible learning experience and that it was.
Although I understood the reality of this being my first year, it was still difficult to “lose” and not even being called for the top twelve. It hurt and I was disappointed just as any girl would be. Every girl works herself silly to make appearances, promote her platform, eat somewhat healthy, remain consistent in the gym, stay current with world events , while maintaining high grades as a full-time college student. Many people may view competing in the Miss Alabama Pageant as a beauty contest and believe me if that was the case, our lives (the contestants) would be much easier. It is SO much more than walking around, smiling, in a pretty dress.
Through all of this, still only one young woman walks away with a crown. Everyone else drives home and tries again next year. It can be really discouraging sometimes.
About a month ago I had one of the worst dreams of my life. I went to Miss Alabama and I lost. I came home and ate nothing but Doritos (funny but something I would do) and I was just so depressed in this dream. I felt like a failure. When I woke up, I was so afraid I would feel exactly like that (Doritos and all) after Miss Alabama was over. That feeling of total failure absolutely terrified me.
Although I have been eating Doritos, now that Miss Alabama is over, I do not feel what I felt in my dream. I do not feel like a failure. I do not feel sad or depressed. I actually feel a joy I have never felt before. I have never been so happy for someone as I am for our Miss Alabama 2016, Hayley Barber, because she is an amazing individual and I hope I can grow into a person like her one day. She is a wonderful example for any girl who is competing in pageantry. We are blessed to be represented by her. #HayForMissA
But, in addition to the joy I have for Hayley, I also have hope. I have faith in that God’s timing is perfect and this year just was not my time and that is okay. In all honestly, even though I will still keep competing, it may never be my time to hold the title of Miss Alabama and that is also okay. I have learned that every season of life is not fun, but there is purpose in every season. Life is not meant to always be fun. If life was always fun, we would never be challenged. I am glad I did not win because if I had not lost- I could not continue to grow because I know I have a good bit of growing to do. If I had won, I would not have been the best Miss Alabama I could be. But with having the opportunity to lose, now I know I can go full force into preparation and work so that if one day my time comes to be Miss Alabama, I will be even better prepared. I have seen the Lord work in my life through wins and through losses. I welcome them both with open arms because I think the Lord does His best work in us when we are weak, because then He can be our strength.
Something our Miss Alabama 2015, Meg McGuffin, shared with the contestants throughout last week was “the journey is the destination”. That statement did not really click with me until I got home and started thinking about my week at Miss AL. I thought, “Wow, Meg was on point.” Because like I said before, life is full of seasons. Some are of wins and some are of losses, but there is always something to be gained. Coming home with the crown seemingly was the ultimate goal, but that does not mean every girl there that week did not walk away with something.
So if you are out there and maybe you have recently experienced a loss, some type of rejection, or maybe even a break-up, please know there is purpose in the pain. There has to be rain and sunshine for a flower to grow and blossom. Our God is so sovereign and even though you may not feel like it, He has His mighty hand on your life. He is orchestrating future events which you cannot even fathom.
So, chin up, Buttercup. The best is yet to come.
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” – Romans 8:18 (NIV)
Also- all of you need to follow Miss Alabama on social media.
Instagram: @MissAmericaAL & @MissAlabamaPageant
Facebook: Miss Alabama Pageant, Inc. & Miss Alabama Hayley Barber
Thank you SO much to AL.com for all the beautiful pictures and their coverage of Miss Alabama week. We are so thankful!
© Bailey Kennon and Dating W Purpose, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bailey Kennon and Dating W Purpose with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.